


Don't Worry About It

by genericfanatic



Series: Worry [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Suicide Attempt, Take Extreme Care While Reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-15 06:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11800302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: 5 times Hunk told Lance not to worry about it and one time he should have worried.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> LAST WARNING IF YOU DIDNT READ THE TAGS DO IT NOW

#1  
Hunk walked into his room at the Garrison and was surprised to find it empty. “Lance?” he called. Lance should have been back from his classes by now, and he usually messaged Hunk if he was going out to do something.

Something went bump in the closet, and Hunk let out a shriek. His mind flitted to ghost, demons, a prank….and then finally to the most logical conclusion. “Lance?” he repeated again. No response. 

Slowly, he opened the closet door to find Lance curled up on the closet floor, head buried in his arms. “Hey…” Hunk said softly, kneeling down to his level, “Hey, what’s going on?”

He heard Lance sniffle into his jacket, tense as a tightly wound spring. The first word Hunk heard was, “…sorry..”

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Hunk said, “Do you wanna talk?” Lance hesitated, thinking. Finally, he shook his head. “Do you want a hug?” Lance nodded. 

With careful precision, Hunk pulled Lance out of the closet and wrapped his arms around him, rubbing circles into his back. “It’s okay,” He muttered, “It’s okay, I’m here…”

Hunk held him for several long minutes, muttering comforts into his ear. Finally he was able to coax Lance to the bed and get him to drink water. “’S silly…” was the first thing he said. 

Hunk frowned, “what’s silly?”

“I miss home,” he said, “I know…I know everyone’s missing home, but…I just…”

“Hey, it’s not silly,” Hunk said, “I’m sure you’re family’s very important to you.”

Lance nodded, “Its just…I don’t regret coming here. I mean, I can’t think of anything else I want to do, I just…I miss them so much…I wish I could bring them here with me.”

Hunk nods, continuing to rub circles on Lance’s back. “Tell you what, why don’t we video call them?” 

Lance gave a small shrug, “I don’t want to bother them.”

“I don’t think you will,” Hunk said, encouraging. “Don’t worry about it! Come on,”

After a few more sips of water and a bit of time drying his eyes, Lance digitally introduced Hunk to his family.

 

#2  
“Hey,” Lance said, as he and Hunk sat in front of a window full of stars. Space was so strange now that they were in it. “I’m sorry.”

Hunk raised an eyebrow at him, “For what?”

“For making you sneak out with me that night,” Lance said, looking out. “It’s kinda where this whole thing started.”

“Hey, I mean, its good, right?” Hunk said, “We’re helping out with the saving of the universe.”

“Yeah…” Lance said, “Kinda wish we got the chance to say goodbye first.”

Hunk nodded, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “We’ll see ‘em again. Don’t you worry.”

Lance took a deep breath, leaning into Hunk’s grip. “Yeah, okay.”

 

#3  
“Hey, man, I’m sorry for fighting you when you were all mind-controlled-y.” Lance said once they were back on the ship. 

Hunk shrugged, “Don’t worry about it, man.” He patted Lance on the back jovially, “You saved me, and that’s what counts, right?”

“Yeah…” Lance said, “That was…kinda freaky. I had no idea what to do without you. They mermaids kept looking at me to do things…I dunno, I’ve always wanted people to look up to me like that, but when it came…I froze up.”

“Hey, we got out, right?” Hunk said. “That’s all that matters.”

“Yeah…I guess”

 

#4

“Hunk…I’m the sharpshooter, right?” 

Hunk was very tired after his trek into the Weblum. Plus the fight on the Balmera AGAIN, and all the stress of their upcoming plan. “The what?”

“You know, the sharpshooter,” Lance said, “I’ve got the aim and stuff, can nail a womprat at 50 paces, that kind of thing. That’s what I’m known for.”

“Well, I mean, yeah,” Hunk said, working on going over the final touches of the Teleduv, making sure it all worked properly, “You’re the one with the rifle, so…” Lance stayed silent, “Sorry, I don’t really know what you’re asking.”

“’Salright, man,” Lance said, backing away, “Don’t worry about it.”

 

#5   
“Um, Hunk? You got a minute?”

“Uhh…” Hunk said, “Maybe?” He was actually working on his ability to detect Lotor’s new magic ship. Pidge had stepped out for a minute to grab some supplies from Coran. 

“Well, I was just thinking about…I mean, thinking about the number of paladins we have here. You think…I mean, Shiro’s probably going to want the Black Lion back, right?”

“Mmmm…” Hunk said, connecting a pair of wires. This was so much easier back on Earth with tech he was more familiar with, but he was getting the hang of it. “Yeah, probably.” 

“So…Keith will want the red lion back.”

“I guess.”

“Right. So, if I were to take the blue lion, I’d have to take it AWAY from Allura.” Lance literally twiddled his thumbs behind Hunk.

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“But I don’t wanna do that. I mean, of course I’d love to pilot blue again, but Allura’s been doing so well as a paladin. She mastered it way faster than I did. Besides, we don’t know that Blue’s rejection of me is a temporary thing or what, so…its probably best if she keeps piloting blue, right?”

“Mmm…” Dammit, these wires weren’t connecting the way he wanted. Pidge had told him they’d have to replace the entire unit, but he was convinced he could jerry-rig it to make it work. C’mon…just a little more…

“So,” Lance continued, “What does that leave me?”

Hunk sighed in frustration. Damn. Pidge was right after all. He’d have to wait for her to come back. “I don’t know, Lance. Why don’t you talk about it with Keith, if you’re worried. He’s the leader now anyway.”

“Right…yeah…sorry…”

 

+1  
“Lance?” Hunk knocked on his door, “C’mon, dinner’s getting cold.” There was no sound from inside. “Lance, come on. Everyone else is downstairs. If you don’t come, I’m giving your meal to Keith!”

Still no response. Hunk huffed. Maybe he was already down in the dining room? Or up on the training deck? More likely he’d fallen asleep, though.

He pushed the button next to the door, forcing it to slide open. As expected, Lance lay on the bed. “Hey, buddy, wake up, it’s time for…” Hunk trailed off as he stepped forward. Lance was motionless, in full day wear, his arm hanging over the side…and his mouth off-color. 

Hunk’s eyes drifted down his arm and onto the floor, landing on a turned-over and empty bottle of what he recognized was one of the weird Altean floor cleaners. 

“Oh my god,” Hunk launched himself forward, grabbing Lance’s head in his hands, smacking him on the cheek, “Lance? Lance, wake up. Oh my god. Oh my god! Lance, please, please wake up!”

Lance did not move. Hunk reached out to try and check for a pulse, but his hands were shaking too badly. It was like the floor had been taken out from under him. “HELP!” He cried out, “SOMEONE PLEASE! QUICK! HELP!” He sat on Lance’s bed, pulling his limp form into his lap, tears flying freely down his face, “PLEASE! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!”

 

The room was eerily quiet as they all sat separate from each other, none of them able to look up at Lance resting, almost peaceful looking, in the healing pod. The only sounds came from Coran, pressing buttons as the computer took scans and developed treatments. Allura and Pidge were both sobbing quietly to themselves. Shiro and Keith had their faces all screwed up, looking angry, like they wanted to fight what was hurting them, but unable to find the source were forced to keep all that energy contained in themselves. And Hunk…

Hunk had cried out all his tears. Now he was left a shell. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. He just replayed every interaction he’d had with Lance over in his head, looking for signs, clues…anything that could have pointed to…this…

Coran cleared his throat, and everyone slowly turned their heads up. “The cleaner should work its way through his system in just a matter of hours. Thankfully, it wasn’t heavily toxic to his system. It was actually more of a problem of volume than…” He trailed off, looking at the pained expressions in all of their faces. “The point is, his prognosis is good. I know you’re all eager to speak with him…but I don’t want to overwhelm him, especially right as he wakes up.”

Keith uncrossed his arms and stepped forward, “I should be the one to talk to him. I’m Black Paladin and leader right now.”

“I’m princess of the castle,” Allura piped up, “Doesn’t that mean anything?” 

“Hey, calm down,” Shiro said, “This isn’t exactly a paladin matter. I’ll speak to him,” 

Pidge scoffed, “If you all were this eager to take responsibility before maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Hey, now—“ Coran started, but Keith was already stepping up to the bait.

“And what is THAT supposed to mean?”

“Just that we know exactly who picks the most fights with Lance, so if anyone here drove him to—“

“This isn’t anyone’s fault!” Shiro shouted over her, tossing blame around isn’t going to help—“

“I pick fights?” Keith shouted at her, “What about all YOUR little snide comments, you really don’t think THAT had to do with it?”

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Allura said, “All we need to do is decide on one—“

“And I suppose you think it should be you!” Pidge yelled “You took his lion, you—“

“Pidge!” Shiro shouted, “Knock it off!”

Pretty soon all of them started shouting at each other. All of them except for Hunk, who couldn’t bring himself to raise his voice. All he could do was hold his head and look up at where Lance lay…so calm…so peaceful…so…unlike what was happening around him. “Will you all SHUT UP!”

The thing about Hunk was, he was a nice guy, he prided himself on it. But dammit, he was also a big guy, and when he got angry, people shuddered before him. “Everyone, just get out,” He ordered, not even bothering to give reasons.

“But I—“

“Hunk you—“

“We won’t—“

“I said,” Hunk glowered at them all, “Get. Out.”

Once he was alone, he regretted sending them away. He couldn’t help thinking about all the people Lance once introduced him to over a computer screen. His mom…his dad…his brothers and sisters and cousins and grandmother and…

And he just thought about…about what could possibly have driven Lance to this point. Were they all at fault? None of them? Could he have prevented it? But how could he have known?

The thoughts circled like racers on a track around his brain, staring at Lance. 

He would be okay, he told himself. Lance…Lance was going through something right now, but he was strong. He’d get through, with some help from his friends.

Don’t worry about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance comes out of the pod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add another chapter. 
> 
> *shrug* I tried.

The pod door opened and Lance came tumbling out into Hunk’s arms. Hunk held him perhaps a touch longer than necessary before guiding him to a chair. “What happened?” Was the first thing Lance said.

Hunk blinked, not sure how to explain this. “You don’t remember?”

He saw Lance go through his memory catalogues, brows creased in confusion. In the barest of changes, his brows smoothed and his eyes widened slightly. He remembered. 

Lance pulled away from Hunk, clasping his hands together loosely. “I guess you’re not going to believe I mistook it for grape soda, huh?” He gave a half-hearted laugh which Hunk couldn’t respond to. Lance swallowed, awkwardly. “Does everyone know?”

Hunk nodded and Lance winced. “Sorry.” Hunk said, “A bit preoccupied trying to…you know…” keep you alive. The words, ironically enough, died on his tongue. 

Lance met his gaze for a second. “You were the one who…” Hunk nodded, not letting him finish that sentence either. “I’m…I’m sorry. You must have been scared, I…” He swallowed awkwardly rubbing his arms tight to his body, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to…”

He trailed off. “What did you mean?” Hunk asked, surprising even himself with how calm his voice was. 

Lance shrugged. “I dunno…it wasn’t…it wasn’t like a planned thing. I just was just…I mean, the thought just came to me. And it didn’t go away, so…” He shrugged again. “I dunno, probably wasn’t even that big of a deal.”

“Wasn’t…?” Hunk scoffed, “Lance, you…god you nearly…you tried to kill yourself Lance!”

Lance flinched at the words, shrinking into himself. “I know. I always was a bit of a drama king, though, right? So—“

“Drama—“ Hunk started his disbelief and anger coming out, “Lance you—you—“

“I know what I did,” Lance said. “It was a mistake, okay? Its—nothing’s wrong, not really. I mean, a lot of little things. They just…piled in my head at the same time, is all.” He gave another little half shrug. “I won’t do it again, don’t worry about—“

“Don’t—“ Hunk said. “I AM worried about it. I nearly lost—“

“It was a stupid mistake, alright?” Lance said, “I’m sorry. Please…please don’t be mad.”

Hunk took a deep sigh looking at Lance’s face. He wasn’t sure if the pod made his dark skin paler...or if he’d been getting that way for a while. His lanky form did seem…lankier, now that he looked. “Lance…I’m not mad.” Lance looked up, “I’m just…I’m scared. And sad. And okay, maybe a little mad, but not for the reason you think.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep calm. “I’m mad at myself for not noticing how…how bad things have gotten. I’m mad at the universe for whatever it did to get us here. And…okay, I am a little mad at you NOW because you’re playing this off like its no big deal but—“

“I don’t WANT it to be a big deal,” Lance said. “It’s embarrassing. And pathetic. And I didn’t even like…” He swallows, “You know, do it right.”

“Thank God,” Hunk said. “Jesus, Lance, what would I have said to your mother?”

“My mom thinks I’m already dead,” Lance said, his voice filled with bitterness. “She has my siblings still, so she’ll be alright. Besides, I don’t…” He sniffed, and only then Hunk saw he was holding back tears. “I don’t think I’ll see her again.”

Hunk opened his arms. With only the slightest hesitation, Lance leaned in and Hunk wrapped his arms as tight as he dared. “We will. We’ll go home, we’ll see our families again.”

Lance shook his head, his hair ruffling against Hunk’s chest. “I’ve been thinking about it…We defeated Zarkon. That’s what we came to do. But now there’s Lotor and the druids and still a whole army of Galra that need to be removed from the UNIVERSE. Do you know how BIG space is? We’ll be lucky if we help more than half over the course of our entire lives. Besides…” He swallowed, “Our families have probably moved on by now. It would just bring more pain to come back. Hell, we left when we were kids, what would we even do? We can’t just get jobs. Like, the Garrison captured Shiro when he landed, who’s to say they won’t kidnap the rest of us?”

Hunk squeezed him. “You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?” Lance nodded. “I thought you said you didn’t plan—“

“I didn’t plan.” Lance said. “I just…thought about it. A lot. And I dunno, some mystical force, some little devil on my shoulder, some level of being in JUST the wrong mood and…” he drifted off. “I’m sorry, though. I didn’t mean…I didn’t want this to be a big fuss.”

“And you thought d—you thought dying wouldn’t cause a fuss?” words like ‘die’ felt so much heavier today than usual.

“Maybe for a few days,” Lance said, “But you’d all put Voltron first, Voltron always has to come first. And…and once you moved on, you know, you could…” with every pause in his sentence his voice got lower. 

Hunk tried to bend his neck to get a look at his face, but he couldn’t see. “We could what?”

Lance cleared his throat. “You could…do better…without me.”

Hunk was shaking. He squeezed Lance just a bit tighter. “Don’t you dare,” His voice trembled as hard as he did, “Don’t you DARE say we’d be better off. God, Lance…” He looked away, his eyes that he thought were dried out sprang up with new painful tears. 

“I know it sounds bad,” Lance said, “But look, I’m dealing with facts. I’m not improving as fast as the rest of you. Think of all the times I’ve been hurt! Or…or someone had to come save me, ‘cause I did something stupid! It’s only…It’s only a matter of time before I become a burden the team can’t afford.”

Hunk shook his head, holding tighter. “Lance, I do look at the facts. You…you were the first to unlock a new form on your bayard. You were the first to find your lion! You stepped up and helped Keith to accept his role as leader, you stepped up to be red lion, you…you’re the best marksman I’ve ever seen!”

Lance lifted off Hunk’s chest to count off Hunk’s arguments on his fingers. “Luck, luck, I’m always ready to smack Keith into gear, luck, and I’m pretty sure the bayards make it like, impossible to miss.” 

“And even if it weren’t for all of that,” Hunk continued like Lance hadn’t said anything, “You would be worth any goddamn burden because you are my best friend, and you don’t need to do anything, not a damn thing to be worth living.”

Lance kept shaking his head lightly. “I can’t compete…I never could…I used to get angry about it, so angry at the people around me who were better, but that was just being…mean. And selfish. You guys…none of us can just be worried about my personal feelings, you know?” Hunk shook his head this time, but Lance talked over him. “And I thought I could just be quiet, and do my work best as I could until I caught up, but…I can’t. I’ll never be as good as you or Pidge, or Allura or Shiro or Keith or Arthur or—“

“Arthur?” Hunk stopped him. Lance clammed shut. “You mean, your brother Arthur?”

Lance looked down and away, he pulled just slightly out of Hunk’s grip, but Hunk was reluctant to let him go. He didn’t want Lance feeling trapped, though, so he let Lance sit up. “Look my bro…” he cleared his throat. “My…my brother…he was great, okay? He was great in school, great with the ladies…met the perfect wife, had the perfect kids, he’s gonna be running my parents farm soon if he hasn’t started already. And he was the perfect older brother, like, he looked out for us, he was like a 3rd parent of mine for God’s sakes and I…I could never be like him. Not there, at home.”

Hunk put pieces together, “So you left for the Garrison.”

Lance nodded. “Can’t really move away anymore, though, can I?” He said it with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “God, I’m such a coward…”

Hunk shook his head more. “Lance…I had no idea…”

“Good,” Lance said. “I didn’t want you to know.” Hunk didn’t know his face could scowl more, but he managed it. “Look I just…I don’t want you to pity me, or look at me like you’re looking at me now or-or—I don’t know. Look, I know I have a lot of issues, but this is war and its supposed to be about saving the universe and if I can’t do that the least I can do is not distract the rest of you.”

“Fuck the universe.” 

Hunk rarely swore, and he definitely didn’t swear at the universe. Hunk wore the label of ‘defender’ like it was the shirt he put on in the morning. Hunk loved helping people. It was what he did. It’s why his role as Paladin was so comfortable with him. Which is why it was unbelievable for him to say something like ‘fuck the universe.’

“I’m serious,” Hunk went on, “Look, the universe is…kinda messed up in all kinds of ways right now. And I’m going to do everything I can to help, but that does not mean running myself into the ground. It shouldn’t be for you, either. Look, Lance, you don’t owe the universe a thing, not a goddamn thing.” He held Lance’s shoulders. “Please just…if I can’t convince you that you honestly are better than you think, please know that any faults, any failings you have…it doesn’t mean this.”

Lance bowed his head. “I already promised, I won’t do it again.” He swallowed, “I just…I know its not necessary. About worth and such. I actually have like, decent self esteem. I mean, look at me.” He gestured down his body. Finally, he won a smile from Hunk. Just…it’d be nice…it’d be nice to be needed. Respected, you know.

Hunk pulled Lance into another hug. He kissed the top of his head. “Living’s the first step. Living for something…is a bit harder.” He gave him a squeeze, “But I’m gonna help you with that, okay? I promise I’ll…”

“Don’t…” Lance said, and Hunk could see tears falling, “I told you, I don’t want pity.”

“Not pity,” Hunk said, “friendship. Family. ‘Cause you’re the family I got out here, okay? And I need you. And I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Lance said, hugging Hunk back, “You’re not a mind reader, you couldn’t have known…”

“I’m sorry anyway.” Hunk held him tight, and looked over his shoulder. “The others are sorry too. They may need some time to show it properly.” 

Lance groaned, tears still falling. “I don’t want to face them…”

“You have to eventually,” Hunk said, “They love you too.” 

Lance took a shaky deep breath. “Okay…”

After a few more minutes of Hunk holding him, Lance got up, changed back into his casual clothes, and followed him to the dining hall. 

Pidge knocked into Lance’s waist before Lance could even take in the scene before him. “I’msososorryInevermeantanyofthethingsIsaidIwasjustjokingaroundbutthatsnoexcuseIwassomeanI’msorryI—“

“Whoa, whoa,” Lance said, “Slow down, Pidgerooni.” He slowly patted Pidge’s back, “I’m here, Pidge, I’m okay.”

The next one to jog up was Keith, but he stopped short of actually hugging Lance. He swallowed, staring at Lance hesitantly, silently waiting for permission. Lance nodded him over and he stepped forward, gripping his jacket tightly. He whispered something in Lance’s ear that Hunk couldn’t hear. Lance shook his head and whispered something back. Keith squeezed tighter. 

Shiro and Allura quickly fell in step next. Allura lay a kiss on Lance’s cheek, while Shiro patted his shoulder. Neither of them said a word, but they stood by him. 

Coran was last, and there was hardly any room around Lance to hug him. Lance wasn’t looking particularly comfortable with the hugs anyway. Or, he was and wasn’t at the same time. So Coran simply nodded at him, and stood by Hunk, ready whenever Lance needed him. 

Lance and Hunk’s eyes met. Hunk could see even now that Lance wasn’t okay. None of them were, really. But…they were still here, and they were here together.


End file.
